How we deal with setback will determine if we overcome them quickly, move on and achieve greater success. Or we can get stuck, dwell on the setback, keep reliving the past and never really move on.
Since viewing setbacks in my own life as feedback and promoters to reshape options, I became more resilient towards difficult challenges. I realized that since I have changed my perception on setbacks to feedback, I feel less exposed and more in control when life does not go my way.
Reflect and consider how you view setbacks? Do you accept it for what it is, and move on? What do you do with the emotions accompanying the setback? Fighting the emotions, or acknowledge it as part of the process? Sure, you will go through a range of emotions; you may feel upset, angry, frustrated, disappointed, and helpless. Fighting these emotions depletes your energy.
There is actually no need to fight these emotions. What we resist persist. Just experience what you feel, acknowledge it, and as you think about your setback, push forward! You can get over any setback; and get back on track towards your goal? When you push yourself forward, think about what you can do next to move forward. What will it take to move on, what is the first step you can take. Say e.g. you lose your job! Accept and acknowledge the feelings you feel, but immediately start thinking on what new job you want next, how to get hired and what kind of life you want to create next? It will immediately put you in a more resourceful state of mind.
The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves.
What is your fear of failure or accepting change costing you? Too often what keeps us stuck, when having a setback is the belief we can’t move forward, that our whole life have come to an end. Our head-trash tells us we are not worthy to have our heart’s desire. Fear of failure prevents us from breaking free and having the life we desire. Remember before you can do anything, you must be able to imagine it. Imagining who and what you want to be, and then taking action, is the key to free yourself to move forward and overcoming your setbacks.
One setback is not total failure! If you keep pondering on setbacks as failures, it will demoralize you. Considering your setback as feedback, maybe it not the right time? Maybe there is a better way? These questions will motivate you to find other effective ways to deal with the matter at hand. This is more uplifting and opening up new ideas on how to handle the matter in more successful ways.
What good will come from blaming yourself for what you consider a failure? Does it change what happened or did not happen? Take responsibility for what you want, take charge of the situation. Learn from your setbacks. Blaming yourself will just keep you stuck; you won’t move forward, and will not achieve your goal.
Till next time – Stay focused on what you want!